Saturday, October 31, 2009

The History of Halloween

Halloween traditions of trick-or-treating and jack-o-lanterns were brought to America in the 1840s by Irish escaping the Great Potato Famine. On Halloween, Irish peasants begged the rich for food and played practical jokes on those who refused. To avoid being tricked, the rich handed out cookies, candies, and fruit - a practice that turned into our present day trick-or-treating.

Jack-o-lanterns trace back to an old Irish tale about a man named Stingy Jack. Unable to enter Heaven because of his stingy ways and turned away by the Devil, Stingy Jack wandered the world, searching for a resting place. To light his way, Stingy Jack used a burning coal in a hollowed out turnip -- hence the name "jack-o-lantern." The first jack-o-lanterns, in fact, were carved out of turnips. Only when the Irish tradition reached America did turnip carving turn into pumpkin carving.

Witch means wise one. It comes from the Saxon word wica. Witches were thought to be wise enough to tell the future.

Orange and black became Halloween colors because of orange is associated with harvests and black is associated with death.

Halloween is the 8th largest card-sending occasion. There are over 28 million Halloween cards sent each year!

There are many variations on the history of Halloween, but it's generally believed that Halloween dates back to 700 B.C. to the Celts, a rural society in northern England, Ireland and Scotland. On November 1, the first day of their new year, the Celts celebrated a festival called Samhain ("sow-in").

Chosen to signify the end of the harvest season and the onset of winter, Samhain was also thought to be a day of the dead. Because it was the end of one year and the start of another, the Celts believed that past and present were closely linked, allowing ancestral spirits to join them.

On the eve of Samhain, October 31, the Celts dressed in costume, lit bonfires, and offered food and drink to masked revelers. Many say the costumes and fires were used to drive away the spirits, and the food given to placate the dead.

October 31 came to be called Halloween when the Christians proclaimed November 1 as All Hallow Day. Unable to stop the pagan ritual of Samhain, the Christians made it a day to celebrate saints who had no day of their own. The night before, or All Hallow Eve, was later shortened to Halloween.
Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 30, 2009

British Jokes

A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:

"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"

"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."

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What is the longest word in the English language?

"Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!

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There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left?

2 birds. The other 3 fly away!

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An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

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The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn't I tell you he was stupid?"

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What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

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Mark called in to see his friend Angus (a Scotman) to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Angus replied "No. I'm moving house."

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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!"

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A man was injected with a deadly poison, but, it did not kill him. Why?

He was already dead!

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A Scottish farmer was in his field digging up his tatties (a Scots word for potatoes). An American farmer looked over the fence and said
"In Texas we grow potatoes 5 times larger than that!"

The Scotsman replied " Ah but we just grow them for our own mouths!"

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1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from?

2nd Eskimo: Alaska

1st Eskimo: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself!

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Charles was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife," Hurry up or we'll be late."
"Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute?"

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Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door

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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares!

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An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of whisky. He hands the bottle to the Irish man, whom exclaims,'' may the Irish and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The Irish man then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Englishman, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here!''

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Why do cows have horns? Because their horns don't work!

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There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking: 'The Scottish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.'

And the Scotsman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap that English b**tard again .

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What kind of ears does an engine have? Engineers

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Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Eric?" Jim asked. "Well didn't you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Eric. "Ah, praise God!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

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How do you count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

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An Irishman had no idea his wife was having an affair, so he was mad with grief when coming home early one day he surprised her and her lover in the act.

He grabbed a pistol and pointed it at his head, which made his wife burst out laughing.

"What do you think you're laughing at," he cried, "you're next."

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An Englishman, roused by a Scot's scorn of his race, protested that he was born an Englishman and hoped to die an Englishman. "Man," scoffed the Scot, "hiv ye nae ambeetion (Have you no ambition)?"

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Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..."
Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor
holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"

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At an auction in Manchester a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"

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A customer ordered some coffee in a cafe. The waitress arrived with the coffee and placed it on the table. After a few moments, the customer called for the waitress "Waitress," he said, "there's dirt in my coffee!". "That's not surprising, sir, replied the waitress, "It was ground only half an hour ago."

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Two Americans are talking. One asks: "What's the difference between capitalism and communism?"
"That's easy" says the other one. "In capitalism man exploits man! In communism it is the other way around!"

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An English man, Irishman and a Scottishman are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, "The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free". Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottishman says,"..yeah. That's quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free." Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer. The Irish man says "Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the backroom for a shag"
The English says "WOW! Did that happen to you?" and the Irishman replies "No, but it happened to my sister."

Amazing Anagrams

Amazing Anagrams

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

Poem of English

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!

How to start an essay: the opening sentence

Often, the hardest words to write in an essay are the opening ones. When you’re doing the first draft, I’d suggest just writing your way through the introduction without worrying too much – you’ll want to come back to it when you’ve got the body and the conclusion of your essay firmly decided upon.

But when you’re revising your essay, you should concentrate on making the opening paragraph as strong as possible – the person marking it will inevitably start forming an opinion of your essay’s worth within the first few words.

If you want to go beyond the standard, rather bland, introduction of “In this essay, I am going to…” you might want to try out some of these openings for your essay:
Quote someone in your field

My favourite way to start off an essay is with a pithy quote. I don’t recommend picking one of the hilarious quotes listed on your Facebook profile, though; instead, try to find something as relevant as possible.

If you’re writing an English essay, a good opening might be a line from one of the plays or books that you mention in the essay – particularly if that line sets up the angle that you’ll be taking on the question.

If you’re studying Politics, a quote from a politician can work very well. Again, make it relevant to the essay (if you’re writing about Thatcherite Britian, “There’s no such thing as society” would be fine, but less so if you’re writing about the Middle Ages…)

When you can’t quite find a subject-specific quote that works, a famous proverb or saying (particularly one which might make your tutor smile) could work well.

The best source of quotes are the textbooks you’re using, but if you’re still stumped, try:
Brainy Quote
Said What
Shakespeare Quotes
Define key terms

Another good way to open an essay is to define any key terms in the question. This might seem a bit of a bland opening, but it’ll show your tutor or examiner that you know what you’re talking about – and it sets the parameters of the discussion.

For example, a word like “ideology” can be very loaded: if it appears in the question, you’ll want to make clear what definition you’ll be using throughout your essay.

Try not to spend too long defining terms, though; whilst an indepth discussion of one word can be fruitful, doing this for every single word in the question will just indicate that you’re not quite sure what your argument is…

Famous example - A.D. Nuttall’s A Common Sky:
This book is about solipsistic fear; that is, the fear that the external world of trees, tables, bricks and mortar may not exist at all.
Make a bold statement

If you’re feeling brave, you could open your essay with a bang by making a bold statement. (An easy way to do this is to completely disagree with the question or prompt that you’ve been given.)

Make sure you can actually pull this one off by constructing a solid argument throughout the rest of the essay that backs up what you say in the introduction – you can use the essay and the conclusion to modify your starting point slightly, but you don’t want to do a complete U-turn.

A slight variation on the bold statement would be to take two diametrically opposed points of view (perhaps two critics in your field), find a good snappy quote from each, and start off your essay with both these quotes, one after the other.

Famous example – Jean Jacques Rousseau’s The Social Contract
Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains.
Use an anecdote

Depending on how formal an essay you’re writing, you might be able to open with an anecdote. This could be from your own life, or a brief story or parable that you’re quoting. It can be an effective way to draw the reader into your essay and, if you’re writing an essay for a competition or for a wide audience, it can be attention-grabbing.

If you do choose to use this opener, be careful not to waffle, and be particularly wary when you’re writing about yourself! Three sentences is probably the maximum you should spend on any anecdote.

Famous example – George Orwell’s The Lion and the Unicorn
As I write, highly civilized human beings are flying overhead, trying to kill me.
Pose a question

Essay titles are often statements rather than questions, like “Politics today is dominated by pragmatic concerns, not ideological ones. Discuss.” If you have a title like this, try starting off by posing your own question. In this case, I might start with “Has politics ever been free from pragmatic concerns?” and use the essay to argue that ideology and pragmatical considerations have always both been part of the political landscape.

Using a question as the start of your essay can help give you focus and direction, particularly if the title is broad or doesn’t automatically lead you towards a strong line of argument.

Famous example – Friedrich Nietzsche’s preface to Beyond Good and Evil:
Supposing truth is a woman—-what then?

Essay-"What a Hero Means to Me"

A hero. Someone of admirable traits or qualities. All of us have a hero. To some, a hero might be their favorite actor or musician. To others, someone closer to home, like a father or uncle. But what is hero? It means different things to different people.

Many find people of fame or importance their heroes. A patriotic American supporting the war in Iraq may think George Bush is a hero, while others believe he every decision he makes is wrong. On the flip side, Muslims may find Osama Bin Ladin hero for fighting for their for their religious beliefs, while some despise him for getting them involved in war. Actors are often portrayed as the heroes of many younger people. You may watch ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and find Johnny Depp your hero. Many people ignore the reality and praise actors for their fictional deeds.

Fictional character have, too, sown their way into the hearts of people everywhere. Fictional characters are easy to respect, for they can never prove themselves wrong unless they are meant to within their stories. They do only as intended by their creators, and the creators includes heroic traits in these characters based upon their views on what hero is. In movies, they often become heroes based on appearance or strength, while in books they are valued for their heroic deeds, such as killing great beasts or surviving impossible feats against nature. In the media, what a hero is differs greatly.

Lastly, we come to the heroes of myth and legend. They are admired for many of the same things found in media. Strength, impossible feats etc. In the story of Peach boy, an old Japanese legend, a boy born from a giant peach is found in the forest by an elderly couple and raised as a normal child. He ends up undertaking a great quest, in which he sails the a far off island and kills the trouble making demon that resides there. He returns home with the treasure the demon had stolen and lives happily ever after. Not all heroes, however, live “happily ever after”. In the story of Jason and the Argonauts, Jason takes on a perilous quest in order to regain his country. Along the way, he conquers many dangers, and marries a witch named Media. He ends up being banished from his kingdom and throne by those who feared his wife. He lived a weary life as a trouble man, and ends up being killed when a part of his ship, that had rotted through the ages, falls and kills him. Either way, they are admired for their heroic deeds.

In conclusion, heroes are seen everywhere, and are kept in the hearts of those who admire hem. Whether the heroes ends justify his means, that is left up to those who hear of their tales. A hero differs greatly to many people, and it has always been that way. Admire them for their traits and model yourself after them and you may become someone’s hero one day as well.

Essay-"What a Hero Means to Me"

A hero. Someone of admirable traits or qualities. All of us have a hero. To some, a hero might be their favorite actor or musician. To others, someone closer to home, like a father or uncle. But what is hero? It means different things to different people.

Many find people of fame or importance their heroes. A patriotic American supporting the war in Iraq may think George Bush is a hero, while others believe he every decision he makes is wrong. On the flip side, Muslims may find Osama Bin Ladin hero for fighting for their for their religious beliefs, while some despise him for getting them involved in war. Actors are often portrayed as the heroes of many younger people. You may watch ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and find Johnny Depp your hero. Many people ignore the reality and praise actors for their fictional deeds.

Fictional character have, too, sown their way into the hearts of people everywhere. Fictional characters are easy to respect, for they can never prove themselves wrong unless they are meant to within their stories. They do only as intended by their creators, and the creators includes heroic traits in these characters based upon their views on what hero is. In movies, they often become heroes based on appearance or strength, while in books they are valued for their heroic deeds, such as killing great beasts or surviving impossible feats against nature. In the media, what a hero is differs greatly.

Lastly, we come to the heroes of myth and legend. They are admired for many of the same things found in media. Strength, impossible feats etc. In the story of Peach boy, an old Japanese legend, a boy born from a giant peach is found in the forest by an elderly couple and raised as a normal child. He ends up undertaking a great quest, in which he sails the a far off island and kills the trouble making demon that resides there. He returns home with the treasure the demon had stolen and lives happily ever after. Not all heroes, however, live “happily ever after”. In the story of Jason and the Argonauts, Jason takes on a perilous quest in order to regain his country. Along the way, he conquers many dangers, and marries a witch named Media. He ends up being banished from his kingdom and throne by those who feared his wife. He lived a weary life as a trouble man, and ends up being killed when a part of his ship, that had rotted through the ages, falls and kills him. Either way, they are admired for their heroic deeds.

In conclusion, heroes are seen everywhere, and are kept in the hearts of those who admire hem. Whether the heroes ends justify his means, that is left up to those who hear of their tales. A hero differs greatly to many people, and it has always been that way. Admire them for their traits and model yourself after them and you may become someone’s hero one day as well.

ESSAY SAMPLE ON "THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL"

It was a bright sunny day, the sky was a soft shade of blue and there was a slight breeze in the air. I stepped out of my moms red shiny CRX as she said 'Good Luck' to me. I forced up a weak smile as I shoved the door, and it made a woosh noise as it closed. I took a deep breathe and started walking towards the man entrance. I thought to myself, 'Why does the school have all the buildings seperated?'

I slowly walked forward as I started looking at all the other kids, most were in groups and all talking laughing and smiling. I felt very small, like I was an alien who had just landed on planet Earth. I thought to myself, 'I should be at home, with my friends talking and laughing'. But I wasn't, I was in Rocklin, California. Id moved here at the begging of August. And I'd hated it ever since. But I was willing to give Rocklin a shot, even though ever kid I'd met in town so far had said 'Rocklin is the worst school'. As I walked forward with the white scrunched up piece of paper that told me my classes, I tried to look like I fit in. As I looked around for my class, I noticed I was on the wrong side of the building. 'At least I know where the main building is,' I said to myself. The main building looked bright and cheery, like the sun.

I trudged over to the main building trying not to look at anyone, the pavement looked really white. When I got to the main building I walked up to a Miss Kerby, sitting behind a desk and asked her if she could tell me where this building was. Instead I felt like I had just been arrested for murder. I was bombarded with about 5 questions all at once. I answered them all, and with a negative tone she told me 'I cant help you, you need your mom to go sign these'. I felt shocked and a huge amount of anger mounting up inside me. I walked straight out of the building. I didn't need to get crap from some lady when I was trying to get used to a state that I had never been too. I walked home and slammed the front door shut, and screamed at the top of my lungs 'I hate it here, I am moving back to Illinois with my dad!' And ran upstairs to my room, slammed the door shut. Bang bang bang, went the door as my foot thudded against it. Each hit relieved a lot of anger.

But I had to go to school. And with all the courage I had in me I went back to that school that had slammed the door in my face, and gave it a second shot. I went to each class feeling like a freak, as everyone stared at me because I didn't dress like them. I thought to myself 'I don't think you like me, well I hate you as well'. I felt like I was on display at the local circus show. I thought someone would come and say 'hello' to me. To this day, I am still waiting. No one has taken the time here to get to know me or like me. I know they all judged me, as I also judged them. I trudged to each class and found two of the teachers actually impressed me, which surprised me, I didn't think anyone in Rocklin, or the whole state of California would impress me. At the end of the day, I was still hating the new school, missing all my old friends.

To this day, it still takes a lot of courage for me to show up at Rocklin High School. Some days I just cant even go. I have now learned to go to school. And I hope to graduate with good grades this year, as I did at my other school (straight A's and B's may I add). I have learned that I have courage and strength and I will succeed this year ever if I am in someplace I don't like. I have learned I can succeed even if everything isn't the way I like it. And with this courage, I will graduate.

Essay-"The Evolution of the PC"

Xerox, Apple, IBM, and Compaq all played major roles in the development of the Personal Computer, or ?PC,? and the success of Microsoft. Though it may seem so, the computer industry did not just pop-up overnight. It took many years of dedication, hard-work, and most importantly, thievery to turn the personal computer from a machine the size of a Buick, used only by zit-faced ?nerds,? to the very machine I am typing this report on.

Xerox started everything off by creating the first personal computer, the ALTO, in 1973.

However, Xerox did not release the computer because they did not think that was the direction the industry was going. This was the first of many mistakes Xerox would make in the next two decades. So, in 1975, Ed Roberts built the Altair 80800, which is largely regarded as the first PC. However, the Altair really served no real purpose. This left computer-lovers still yearning for the ?perfect? PC...actually, it didn't have to be perfect, most ?nerds? just wanted their computer to do SOMETHING.

The burning need for a PC was met in 1977, when Apple, a company formed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, released it's Apple II. Now the nerds were satisfied, but that wasn't enough. In order to catapult the PC in to a big-time product, Apple needed to make it marketable to the average Joe. This was made possible by Visical, the home spread sheet.

The Apple II was now a true-blue product.

In order to compete with Apple's success, IBM needed something to set its product apart from the others. So they developed a process called ?open architecture.? Open architecture meant buying all the components separately, piecing them together, and then slapping the IBM name on it. It was quite effective. Now all IBM needed was software. Enter Bill Gates.

Gates, along with buddy Paul Allen, had started a software company called Microsoft. Gates was one of two major contenders for IBM. The other was a man named Gary Kildall. IBM came to Kildall first, but he turned them away (He has yet to stop kicking himself) and so they turned to Big Bad Bill Gates and Microsoft.

Microsoft would continue supplying IBM with software until IBM insisted Microsoft develop Q/DOS, which was compatible only with IBM equipment. Microsoft was also engineering Windows, their own separate software, but IBM wanted Q/DOS.

By this time, PC clones were popping up all over. The most effective clone was the Compaq. Compaq introduced the first BIOS (Basic Input-Output System) chip. The spearheaded a clone market that not only used DOS, but later Windows as well, beginning the incredible success of Microsoft.

With all of these clones, Apple was in dire need of something new and spectacular. So when Steve Jobs got invited to Xerox to check out some new systems (big mistake), he began drooling profusely. There he saw the GUI (graphical user interface), and immediately fell in love. SO, naturally, Xerox invited him back a second time (BBBBIIIIGGGG mistake) and he was allowed to bring his team of engineers. Apple did the obvious and stole the GUI from Xerox. After his own computer, the LISA, flopped, Jobs latched on to the project of one of his engineers. In 1984, the Apple Macintosh was born. Jobs, not wanting to burden his employees with accolades, accepted all of the credit.

Even with the coveted GUI, Apple still needed a good application. And who do you call when you need software? Big Bad Bill Gates. Microsoft designed ?desktop publishing? for Apple. However, at the same time, Gates was peeking over Jobs's shoulder to get some ?hints? to help along with the Windows production.

About the same time, IBM had Microsoft design OS/2 for them so they could close the market for clones by closing their architecture. This was the last straw for Microsoft. They designed OS/2 and then split with IBM to concentrate fully on Windows. The first few versions of Windows were only mediocre, but Windows 3.0 was the answer to what everyone wanted. However, it did not have it's own operating system, something that Windows ?95 does. 3.0 sold 30 million copies in its first year, propelling Microsoft to success.

So, neither the PC industry nor Microsoft was built overnight. Each owes a lot to several different people and companies. Isn't it amazing that so much has developed in just twenty-three years? Here's something even more amazing. Remember the ALTO? Guess what it had... a GUI, a mouse, a networking system, everything. So maybe we haven't come all that far.

Essay- "My Dream , My World"

I often dream of driving with my mother down a long, straight road, a road that stretches as far as the eye can see. Birds are joyously flittering around the car, singing. Flowers in splendorous full bloom decorate the landscape. The breeze is flirting with my mother's short gray hair, and with my long, black waterfall. It is a lovely dream, from which I never wish to wake. Many people in this world dream of having a car. I now realize that I have a car not only in my dream, but in reality. My car is the best car in the world. It is not a Lincoln, Audi or Mercedes Benz. I call my car "Mother".

It is clear that my car is a special one, but it includes several features with which you may not be familiar. To begin with, my car has the best engine in the world. This engine is my mother's heart. This engine never fails, because mothers never fail their children. My mother's heart supports me when I am in need and keeps me perpetually moving forward. To guide the engine, my car has an excellent steering wheel in the form of my mother's mouth. When I am in trouble, it always tells me the way out. When I am lost, this steering wheel turns me in the right direction. When I am wrong, it gently sets me right.

Of course, on a car, good tires are essential. Cars without tires cannot roll like a ball or ride rails like a train. Fortunately, my car has tires which can never be deflated. These tires are my mother's back. Though it is not exceptionally strong, it can move mountains. Though it is starting to curve with age, it straightens all the roads and streets of my life. As my mother's youth rolls away on aging tires, my youth blossoms on my mother's back.

The cab of my car is also unique. The cab is my mother's bosom. When I am tired, the cab of my car protects me in a warm and comfortable embrace. When I am lonely, it accompanies me wherever I go. When I feel desperate, it gives me hope and courage. My mother's cab is the safest harbor from a storm and the warmest place during a severe winter.

This is my car, priceless and unparelleled. Sometimes I envy those drivers who have their own car. But this feeling is temporary. On the other hand, others are eternally envious of me because I have the best car in the world. "Mother" is a word that means the world to me. I love my car, my mother.

Essay- "My Dream , My World"

I often dream of driving with my mother down a long, straight road, a road that stretches as far as the eye can see. Birds are joyously flittering around the car, singing. Flowers in splendorous full bloom decorate the landscape. The breeze is flirting with my mother's short gray hair, and with my long, black waterfall. It is a lovely dream, from which I never wish to wake. Many people in this world dream of having a car. I now realize that I have a car not only in my dream, but in reality. My car is the best car in the world. It is not a Lincoln, Audi or Mercedes Benz. I call my car "Mother".

It is clear that my car is a special one, but it includes several features with which you may not be familiar. To begin with, my car has the best engine in the world. This engine is my mother's heart. This engine never fails, because mothers never fail their children. My mother's heart supports me when I am in need and keeps me perpetually moving forward. To guide the engine, my car has an excellent steering wheel in the form of my mother's mouth. When I am in trouble, it always tells me the way out. When I am lost, this steering wheel turns me in the right direction. When I am wrong, it gently sets me right.

Of course, on a car, good tires are essential. Cars without tires cannot roll like a ball or ride rails like a train. Fortunately, my car has tires which can never be deflated. These tires are my mother's back. Though it is not exceptionally strong, it can move mountains. Though it is starting to curve with age, it straightens all the roads and streets of my life. As my mother's youth rolls away on aging tires, my youth blossoms on my mother's back.

The cab of my car is also unique. The cab is my mother's bosom. When I am tired, the cab of my car protects me in a warm and comfortable embrace. When I am lonely, it accompanies me wherever I go. When I feel desperate, it gives me hope and courage. My mother's cab is the safest harbor from a storm and the warmest place during a severe winter.

This is my car, priceless and unparelleled. Sometimes I envy those drivers who have their own car. But this feeling is temporary. On the other hand, others are eternally envious of me because I have the best car in the world. "Mother" is a word that means the world to me. I love my car, my mother.

Essay-"The Greatest Invention in History"

Thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt, people built pyramids for the Pharoah. At that time there were no machines, so how could they move such huge stones? How could they create such splendid pyramids? How could they create such a miracle? The answer, of course, is the wheel. The wheel makes everything possible. Now, you may challenge this assertion. "The wheel is far too simple," you may say. "Inventions such as the printing press and the computer chip have done much more to change the world." I have to disagree with you. Let me explain why.

The common uses of the wheel are obvious. Rather than travel on foot or on horse, we have learned to travel by horse-drawn carriages, cars, trains and now airplanes and rockets. The Industrial Revolution could never have occured without the wheel. Not only do industrial machines, such as we find in factories, or home appliances such as washing machines and air conditioners, depend on the wheel, even the printing press that brought learning to the masses depended on gears - toothed wheels! - to work. In other words, though the printing press was important, it simply couldn't exist without the wheel.

The computer chip also would not be the useful device it is, without the help of the wheel. The computer chip itself may not use a wheel or gear directly, but peripheral devices such as printers and disk drives do. Without the wheel, we could in theory have a powerful computing device. However, we wouldn't be able to save our work or show it to other people! Without the invention of the wheel, the computer would be next to useless.

So, can you imagine a world without the wheel? Can you imagine a world without long-distance travel? Can you imagine a world without a printing press to communicate the best writing in the world? Can you imagine a world with no useful computers? Everything that came after the wheel, and everything that is to come, depends on the greatest invention in history. The wheel!

Essay-"My First Unforgettable Evening"

It happened many years ago, when I was a little girl. I can neither remember the beginning nor the end , but whenever I think of the scene, tears flow freely down my cheeks.

When I was young, my family led a poor life in the country. One evening we were visiting some relatives and the weather was very bad. It rained so hard that the roads were flooded with water. On our way home that evening, my Dad carried me on his back. My Mom held my elder brother’s hand, and held an umbrella for Dad and me. Dad gave his overcoat to my elder brother. As you can imagine, many country roads are difficult to walk on. This road was especially bad after the rain. However, we trudged together through the mud and the rain for more than an hour.

Though I was on my Dad's back, I wasn’t comfortable either. I was fat at that time and it may have been hard for Dad to hold me for such a long time. He almost fell down four or five times. In hopes of decreasing my father's burden, I tried to "carry" myself, through force of will alone. That may sound funny, but I was just a kid. Of course, I achieved nothing.

When we arrived home, the inside of our house was covered with rain water. The rain had come through our leaky roof and puddles were everywhere. Mom put bowls and tubs all around the house to try to catch the rain. Then she put me and my elder brother to bed, carefully placing us on the remaining dry spots. I fell asleep soon. When I opened my eyes, I found Dad and Mom were sleeping in chairs, both having caught bad colds.

This is my very earliest memory, and luckily, it represents nothing but my parents’ love. I realized the depth of my parents’ great love for the first time. Though the evening has long since passed, and now we live a happy life, I won’t forget the rain we lived through together. The rain, that evening, and especially my parents' love, will stay in my mind forever.

Essay-"Keys to Happiness"

Looking back on the first twenty years of my life, lived with passion, energy and enthusiasm, I feel grateful to have been so healthy and happy. I owe my happiness to so many people and lucky events, but there are three key, fundamental factors that have guided me and supported me in my life. Those three keys to life are my physical health, healthy finances, and my family's happiness.

Health comes first for me, because without health everthing else is meaningless. Imagine starting a career without good health. Imagine starting a family without good health. Imagine achieving anything without good health. Clearly, good health is a basic, fundamental prerequisite for every other aspect of one's life.

Good health is not enough to be happy. We still need to have money in today's society. Money obviously pays for the basic necessities of life - food, housing, clothing - but is also necessary for other reasons. The amount of money we have at our disposal determines the quality of education we can receive. Money guarantees we will always get adequate medical treatment if the need arises. We can also use money for travel and other entertainment that can add to our quality of life.

When we have both our health and healthy finances, we can turn our attention to the most important factor in having a happy life. Family is the most important factor because it provides the love, joy and support that everybody needs. I love my family with all my heart. I get pleasure from their pleasure. I suffer when they suffer. My family helped me get through the tremendous pressure of entrance exams. They consoled and advised me when I had misunderstandings with my friends. More importantly, they were there to share in my successes throughout the past twenty years.

These three factors are all that I need and want in this world. As long as I stay healthy, work hard to earn as much money as I can, and then use my health and wealth to share both good times and bad times with my family, I will always be the happiest girl in the world.

Essay-The Value of Self Confidence

My friends often ask me, "Joe, why are you so carefree all the time?". The answer is quite simple. I owe my carefree attitude to self confidence. Now, some people may say that self confidence is a form of conceit, and they may be right. However, my self confidence allows me to feel relaxed no matter how difficult a task I face, so it is extremely valuable to me.

I remember the first time I partipated in an English competition. Three years ago, my classmates chose me to speak in an English competition at our school. When I went onstage, I had butterflies in my stomach. Suddenly, my mother's words came back to me: "If you want to do something, it costs nothing but self confidence". Since I was chosen to be there, it meant I must have the ability to succeed. "Get a hold of yourself", I said silently. "You have prepared for this competition for the past three months. You are the best". Strangely, my nervousness vanished after I spoke to myself with such confidence. I began to speak onstage - the feeling was wonderful. The whole audience applauded afterwards. I was successful!

Without my self confidence, I could not have succeeded. My courage and optimism are based on this self confidence. Various difficulties will certainly come into our lives from time to time in the future. If we face those difficulties, if we come to terms with them, we are bound to succeed. Knowing that we are capable of handling any difficulty will build our confidence and lead to success.

So, my friends, be confident! Even if you're not the best, it doesn't matter. Don't you always do your best to achieve your aims? Of course you do. That's enough to give you confidence, and confidence will make you happier.

Essay-Cooperation: the spirit of contemporary society

Today, many people think competition is the key to success. They pursue their own personal goals with no regard for the people around them. I believe such thinking is out of date. I believe contemporary society, including society as a whole as well as individuals, demands that we cooperate with others. Real success will come when we grow together, rather than hold each other down.

The world economy is expected to remain prosperous, at least into the near future. However, the adverse effects of high oil prices, vicious competition for strategic resources and global pollution are on the rise. To overcome these problems, countries must be mindful of all their relationships and act with integrity at all times. The fight against problems such as AIDS, poverty and terrorism requires cooperation. Our own personal success is no different. In order to succeed, we must cooperate to solve problems.

Today, information and knowledge are growing to the extent that no individual can master everything. Cooperation allows us to learn from others. When we combine the knowledge of many, companies can innovate, human beings can be sent into space, diseases can be conquered. We need each other to fill in the gaps in our knowledge and understanding.

By being flexible, supportive and willing to compromise, we will have more success in our lives and careers. We can still retain our own independence, our unique natures, our core competencies, but through cooperation, we will expand our identities and develop stronger relationships. These are, after all, the source of self-esteem and satisfaction in life.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

HILARIOUS ENGLISH

You might like it. This is hilarious... ..even

an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.


Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....
1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Strange English

How strange can a language be?

There is no egg in an eggplant. It doesn't look or taste like an egg.

There is no ham in a hamburger.

There is no pine nor apple in a pineapple.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

English muffins were not invented in England and French fries were not invented in France, so where did such names come from?

Some names seem to describe the opposite of what the things really are:

Quicksand pulls you down slowly.

Boxing rings are square.

A Guinea pig is not from Guinea and it is not a member of the pig family.

Some examples of why you cannot blindly follow English grammar rules:

If writers write and painters paint and riders ride, then why don't fingers fing or hammers ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth and the plural of goose is geese, then shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth and the plural of moose be meese? Maybe they should be, but they aren't.

If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what do you think a humanitarian eats?

How can a house that is burning up finally end in being burned down?

At a bank or loan office, how can you fill in the necessary information as you fill out the forms?

Why is it that when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible?

Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?

Why do people park on driveways but drive on parkways?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Answer: I simply don't know.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Glossary of Fun Words

Sometimes new words can be a lot of fun. This glossary contains three types of fun words: words that are unusually specific and therefore perfect for certain situations, like specious (seeming good or sound at first but lacking real merit) and apolaustic (wholly devoted to the seeking of enjoyment); words that are simply fun to say, like absquatulate (flee, make off; abscond) and quidnunc (a busybody or a gossip); and, my favorite, words for things you never knew there were words for, like omphalopsychite (one who contemplates his navel) and nothosonomia (the act of calling someone a bastard).

absquatulate

flee, make off; abscond.
agelast
one who never laughs.
aglet
the plastic tip on the end of a shoelace.
agrestic
characteristic of the country, rustic; also, unpolished or uncouth.
akimbo
of the arms, with the hands on the hips and elbows bent outward. "He stood akimbo and surveyed the wreckage."
anadromous
of fish, migrating up rivers from the sea to spawn in fresh water.
anile
like a doddering, foolish old woman.
anserine
goose-like; also, silly, foolish, or stupid.
anthropophagy
cannibalism.
apolaustic
wholly devoted to the seeking of enjoyment.
arcadian
idyllically pastoral, simple, or untroubled.
avuncular
of or pertaining to an uncle; also, uncle-like.
barratry
the offense of frequently stirring up lawsuits or quarrels; also, in maritime law, fraud or gross criminal negligence by a captain or crew at the expense of a ship's owner or of the owner of a ship's cargo.
bastinado
torture by beating on the soles of the feet.
bezonian
a scoundrel.
bibcock
a faucet that is bent downward
bibliobibuli
those who read too much.
biffy
a toilet or outhouse.
bodewash
dried buffalo dung, used as fuel for fire.
boeotian
stupid, dull, obtuse; also, such a person.
bolus
a large medicinal pill; also, a mass of chewed food.
boondoggle
an unnecessary activity or wasteful expenditure.
borborygmic
pertaining to the rumbling of one's stomach or intestines.
bosky
having an abundance of trees or shrubbery.
brobdingnagian
enormous, immense.
brummagem
cheap and showy but inferior and worthless.
buccal
of or pertaining to the cheek or the mouth.
bugaboo
something that causes baseless fear or worry; also, a false belief used to intimidate.
bumf
toilet paper; also, worthless paperwork, literature, or junk mail.
callipygian
having shapely buttocks. See also: steatopygic.
captious
apt to raise objections to trivial faults or defects; given to fault-finding; difficult to please.
caryatid
a draped female figure supporting an entablature.
caseifaction
the act of turning into cheese.
cataglottism
kissing with the tongue.
cerumen
earwax.
chatoyant
changing in luster or color, as cat's eyes.
chiaroscuro
distribution of light and shade in a picture
chthonic
dwelling in the underworld.
cicisbeo
a male escort or lover of a married woman.
collation
a light meal.
contumelious
insolently abusive and humiliating.
corrigendum
a mistake to be corrected, especially an error in a printed book.
corybantic
frenzied or agitated.
crapulous
given to, characterized by, or suffering from gross excess in eating and drinking.
cynosure
a center of attraction or admiration.
dandle
to dance (a child) on one's knees; the action taken by a dandler.
deasil
clockwise. See also: widdershins.
defenestrate
to throw out of a window
dendrochronology
the study of growth rings on trees.
dipsomania
uncontrollable craving for alcohol.
discalced
barefooted.
doddle
something easy or requiring little effort.
donnybrook
a brawl or heated public dispute.
dottle
the plug of unburned tobacco left in a pipe after smoking.
draggle
make wet and dirty by dragging on the ground.
duff
decaying matter in a forest
ecdysiast
stripper.
edacious
devouring, consuming, voracious.
eesome
pleasing to the eye.
emollient
characteristic of that which softens or soothes the skin.
enantiodromic
characteristic of something that has become its opposite.
energumen
one who is possessed by a demonic entity.
epeolatry
worship of words.
epigone
an undistinguished imitator or descendant of an illustrious person or family.
eructation
belching; also, discharge of a volcano.
esprit d'escalier
a remark that occurs to someone later, after it should have been said (often a witty retort that occurs after the moment to use it has passed).
estivate
to spend the summer.
esurient
hungry.
evancalous
pleasant to embrace.
expiscate
to learn through laborious investigation.
exsanguinate
to drain blood from.
factotum
employee or assistant who does just about everything.
fantods
a state of nervous irritability; the fidgets; the willies. "Waiting for this semester's report card is giving me the fantods."
fernticle
freckle.
fescue
a small stick used to point out letters to a child learning to read.
flews
the pendulous corners of the upper lip of certain dogs, such as the bloodhound.
floccinaucinihilipilification
the categorizing of something as worthless.
flummery
meaningless chatter; also, deceptive language.
footle
to talk or act foolishly; to waste time.
foudroyant
dazzling, flashing; also, thunderous, noisy.
friable
easily crumbled; crumbly.
frisson
an emotional thrill; a shudder of emotion.
frowzy
ill-smelling, musty; also, slovenly, unkempt.
fugacious
fleeting, transitory; difficult to capture.
funambulist
a tightrope walker
gallimaufry
jumble or medley; hodgepodge.
geck
a dupe.
genuflect
bend the knee and lower the body, especially in reverence.
gleek
to joke or jest.
gobbledygook
windy gibberish or jargon.
gorbellied
corpulent.
gormless
dull, stupid, clumsy.
gound
the gunk that collects in the corners of the eyes during sleep.
gowpen
two hands placed together to form a bowl-shape; also, the amount that can be contained in a pair of cupped hands.
graustark
an imaginary place of high romance.
grimthorpe
remodel or restore an old building without proper grounding or knowledge of its authentic character or without exercising care to remain faithful to its original quality and uniqueness; after Baron Grimthorpe, English lawyer and architect, restorer of St. Alban's cathedral.
hallux
big toe.
hangdog
shamefaced, browbeaten, or intimidated.
hebdomedal
weekly.
hircine
goat-like; also, lustful.
hirple
to hobble or walk lamely.
hornswoggle
bamboozle, deceive.
hoyden
a boisterous, carefree girl; a tomboy.
infucate
to apply cosmetics.
inglenook
a nook by a fireplace.
insouciant
blithely unconcerned.
insufflate
to blow on or breathe into.
izzat
honor, prestige, reputation.
jillick
to skip a stone across water.
jocoserious
combining serious and humorous matters.
jugulate
to slit the throat.
kalopsia
the delusion that things are more beautiful than they really are.
katzenjammer
a loud, discordant noise; also, a hangover; also, a state of depression or bewilderment.
kibitz
to look on and offer unsolicited, meddlesome advice; to make wisecracks when others are trying to work or speak seriously.
kickshaw
a trinket or bauble; a culinary delicacy.
lambent
softly radiant; of a light or flame, playing on a surface without burning it; also, dealing lightly and gracefully with a subject of discussion.
lapidate
to stone to death.
latrinalia
graffiti found in restrooms.
legerdemain
slight of hand; magic tricks.
liripipe
a long scarf or cord attached to and hanging from a hood.
ludic
characterized by playfulness.
macerate
to make or become soft by steeping in a liquid; also, to waste away by fasting.
madefy
moisten.
maffick
to rejoice with an extravagant and boisterous public celebration.
malinger
pretend to be ill in order to avoid work or shirk duty.
marmoreal
resembling marble.
mawkish
excessively or feebly sentimental; also, having a faint, sickly taste.
meldrop
a drop of mucus at the end of the nose.
mendacious
telling lies, especially habitually; untruthful.
miasma
a noxious atmosphere or influence; unpleasant or unwholesome air.
misprision
neglect or wrongful action committed by a public official.
moiety
about half of something.
monomania
obsession with one idea or interest.
moonglade
the bright reflection of the moon on a body of water.
mordant
bitingly sarcastic.
mosh
to engage in uninhibited, frenzied activities with others near the stage at a rock concert. See also: mosh pit.
mosh pit
the place near the stage at a rock concert where moshing occurs. See also: mosh.
mulct
to take money from, by taxation or by trickery.
mundungus
stinky tobacco.
myrmidon
an unscrupulously faithful follower; henchman.
napiform
resembling a turnip.
neologist
one who makes up new words.
nidify
to build a nest.
noctambulist
a sleepwalker; somnambulist.
nosocomephrenia
depression due to a prolonged hospital stay.
nothosonomia
the act of calling someone a bastard.
nudiustertian
pertaining to the day before yesterday.
nyctalopia
night blindness.
obdormition
numbness caused by pressure on a nerve, as when one's foot is "asleep."
obnubilate
cloud over, darken, or obscure.
ochlocracy
mob rule.
octothorpe
the '#' symbol; also, "octothorp."
omphalopsychite
one who contemplates his navel. See also: omphaloskepsis.
omphaloskepsis
contemplation of one's navel. See also: omphalopsychite.
opsimath
one who begins to learn late in life.
ort
a scrap of food left after a meal is completed.
osculate
kiss.
ovoviviparous
producing eggs that hatch within the female's body without obtaining nourishment from it.
oxter
armpit.
pandiculation
the stretching that accompanies yawning.
panjandrum
a pompous official or pretender; also, the mock title of a self-important person.
pantaloon
a man's close-fitting garment for the hips and legs, worn especially in the 19th century
pate
top of the head, usually a bald head.
penny-farthing
an old-fashioned kind of bicycle with a huge front wheel.
penultimate
next to last.
perendinate
to put off until the day after tomorrow; also, to keep postponing from day to day.
peripatetic
going from place to place; itinerant.
philtrum
the vertical groove between the nose and upper lip.
picaresque
of fiction, dealing with the adventures of a rogue.
pilose
covered with hair.
pilpul
a nitpicking, unproductive argument.
pinguid
fat; also, greasy.
placebo
a harmless substance given as medicine, usually to humor a patient.
poetaster
an inferior poet.
popinjay
a talkative and conceited person.
popliteal
of or pertaining to the back of the knee.
preponderate
to surpass others in numbers, intensity, force, or prowess.
prescind
turn aside.
psithurism
a low whispering sound, such as the rustle of leaves.
puckeroo
useless, broken.
pulchritude
attractiveness.
purulent
containing, consisting of, or discharging pus.
pusillanimous
timid, faint-hearted, or cowardly.
quidnunc
a busybody or a gossip.
quincunx
the pattern of five objects arranged such that four of the five objects form a square, while the fifth is positioned in the middle. "The dots on the '5' side of a die are arranged in a quincunx."
quisquilious
like rubbish; trashy, worthless.
raconteur
one skilled in telling stories.
rebarbative
causing aversion or irritation.
recension
an editorial revision of a literary work.
recidivist
one who continually commits crime and seems incurable of criminal tendencies.
recrudesce
of a disease, sore, or hostile feeling, to break out again.
renitent
resistant to pressure.
retroussé
turned up at the tip, especially a nose.
rhabdomantist
one who practices divination by means of a rod to locate underground water; a dowser.
riant
smiling.
sanguinary
bloodthirsty; murderous.
sanguine
cheerfully confident or optimistic; also, having a healthy, reddish color.
saturnine
characteristic of a person having a gloomy or forbidding appearance.
scuttlebutt
gossip.
seersucker
a light, thin fabric, such as cotton or rayon, with a crinkled surface and a usually striped pattern.
serendipity
the faculty of accidentally making happy, unexpected discoveries.
sericate
silky.
simous
having a very flat or snub nose, with the end turned up.
skosh
a small amount; a tad.
smithereens
fragments or splintered pieces.
snollygoster
a shrewd, unprincipled person.
sockdolager
a conclusive blow or remark; also, something outstanding.
somnambulist
a sleepwalker; noctambulist.
spanghew
to cause a frog or toad to fly up in the air.
spartle
to move the body or limbs in a sprawling or struggling manner.
specious
seeming good or sound at first but lacking real merit.
squabash
to crush with criticism.
squidger
the huge disc, or wink, used to propel other winks in the game of Tiddly-Winks.
squiffed
intoxicated.
steatopygic
having fat buttocks. See also: callipygian.
sternutation
the act of sneezing; also, a sneeze.
stymie
to thwart, stump, or obstruct.
subderisorious
ridiculing in moderation.
subfusc
drab, dusty.
suppurate
to form pus; to fester.
susurration
whispering, murmuring, or rustling.
sycophant
one who attempts to gain a personal advantage by servile flattery.
tantalolagnia
arousal caused by teasing.
tantivy
a headlong dash or rapid gallop; also, characteristic of one in a tantivy; also, the blare of a trumpet or horn. "The man was running tantivy after the thief."
tauromachy
the art of bullfighting.
tenebrific
producing darkness; obscuring.
tergiversate
to turn one's back on one's party or cause; also, to make evasive statements or equivocate.
termagant
a shrewish, bullying woman.
thewy
muscled, brawny.
tintinnabulous
of or relating to bells or the ringing of bells.
tizzy
a state of nervous excitement or confusion; a dither.
tohubohu
a state of chaos, disorder, and confusion.
tonsure
the shaving of the head of those entering certain priesthoods or monastic orders; also, the part of the head left bare after such a shaving.
tragus
the little flap of cartilage that projects over the hole in one's ear.
trollop
a promiscuous woman.
twee
affectedly cute or quaint; overly precious or nice.
ultra-crepidarian
giving opinions or criticism beyond one's own range of experience.
ululate
lament loudly and shrilly; wail.
umbrage
the feeling of being offended.
undulate
sway in place.
uvula
the thing that hangs down in the back of one's throat.
vermiculate
having wavy, wormlike lines or motion; sinuous, tortuous.
vexillologist
one who studies flags.
vicarious
characteristic of feelings or emotions felt or shared imaginatively through the feelings or emotions of another person.
vicissitude
a change of circumstances affecting one's life.
walla-walla
the unintelligible sound made by many people talking at once.
welter
wriggle, writhe.
whelm
to cover or engulf completely, usually with disastrous effect.
whinge
complain fretfully, whine.
widdershins
counterclockwise; also, in a contrary direction. Same as "withershins." See also: deasil.
withershins

See: widdershins.

Glossary of Linguistics and Rhetoric

ablaut
a vowel change that accompanies a change in grammatical function. Same as "gradation." Sing, sang, and sung.
accidence
the part of morphology that deals with the inflections of words. See also: morphology.
accismus
pretended refusal of something desired.
acrolect
a variety of language that is closest to a standard main language, especially in an area where a creole is also spoken. Standard Jamaican English, where Jamaican Creole is also spoken. See also: creole.
adianoeta
an expression that carries both an obvious meaning and a second, subtler meaning.
adnominal
characteristic of an adnoun. See also: adnoun.
adnominatio
assigning to a proper name its literal or homophonic meaning; also, paronomasia or polyptoton. Same as "prosonomasia." See also: aptronym, paragram, paronomasia, polyptoton.
adnoun
the use of an adjective as a noun. Blessed are the merciful. See also: adnominal.
adynaton
a declaration of impossibility, usually expressed as an exaggerated comparison with a more obvious impossibility. "I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand than he shall get one of his cheek." -- William Shakespeare.
alexia
inability to read, usually caused by brain lesions; word blindness. See also: aphasia, dysgraphia.
alliteration
repetition of the same sound beginning several words placed close together, usually adjacent. See also: assonance, consonance, parechesis, paroemion.
alphabetism
the expression of spoken sounds by an alphabet.
ambigram
a word, phrase, or sentence written in such a way that it reads the same way upside down as right side up.
amelioration
See: melioration.
amphibology
See: amphiboly.
amphiboly
ambiguous discourse; amphibology.
anacoluthon
a change in a grammatical construction within the same sentence. "And these socks -- are they mine also?" See also: synesis.
anacrusis
one or more unstressed syllables at the beginning of a line of verse, before the normal meter begins.
anadiplosis
rhetorical repetition of one or more words, particularly a word at the end of a clause. "Men in great place are thrice servants: servants of the sovereign or state; servants of fame; and servants of business." -- Francis Bacon. See also: anaphora, epistrophe, symploce.
anagram
a rearrangement of a group of letters, especially a word that can be formed by rearranging the letters in another word.
anaphora
repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of successive phrases, clauses, or sentences. "We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France; we shall fight on the seas and oceans; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air; we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches; we shall fight on the landing grounds; we shall fight in the fields and in the streets; we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender." -- Winston Churchill. See also: anadiplosis, epistrophe, symploce.
anaptyxis
the process by which a new word is formed by inserting a vowel sound between successive consonants in an older word. See also: dissimilation, epenthesis, haplology, metathesis, paragoge.
anastrophe
transposition or inversion of normal word order; a type of hyperbaton. "Once upon a midnight dreary..." -- Edgar Allan Poe. "The helmsman steered; the ship moved on; yet never a breeze up blew." -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge. See also: hyperbaton, synchysis.
antanaclasis
repetition of a word whose meaning changes in the second instance. "Your argument is sound...all sound." -- Benjamin Franklin.
anthimeria
substitution of one part of speech for another, most often a noun used as a verb.
antiphrasis
the use of a word or phrase contrary to its normal meaning for ironic or humorous effect. A mere babe of 60 years.
antisthecon
substitution of one sound, syllable, or letter within a word for another, frequently to accomplish a pun; a type of metaplasm. See also: metaplasm.
antistrophe
the repetition of words in an inverse order. "The master of the servant and the servant of the master."
antithesis
contrast of opposing words or ideas in a parallel construction. "Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice; moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue." -- Barry Goldwater.
antonomasia
the substitution of a title or epithet for a proper name. "Yes, Your Majesty." Also, the substitution of a personal name for a common noun. "You're a Benedict Arnold." See also: honorific.
antonym

a word which is the opposite of another. "General," which is the antonym of "specific." See also: contronym, synonym.
aphaeresis
Loss of the initial portion of a word. For example, cause from because; specially from especially. See also: apocope.
aphasia
partial or total loss of the ability to articulate ideas or comprehend spoken or written language, usually due to damage inflicted on the brain by injury or disease. See also: alexia, dysgraphia, paraphasia.
aphesis
mispronouncing a word by dropping one or more initial, usually unstressed syllables. "'cept" instead of "except." See also: aphetic.
aphetic
characteristic of aphesis. See also: aphesis.
apocope
loss of the final portion of a word. For example, info from information; cinema from cinematograph. See also: aphaeresis.
apocrisis
replying to one's own arguments.
apophasis
mentioning something by declaring that it shall not be mentioned. Same as "paralepsis" and "preterition." "I need not remind you to get your Christmas shopping done early." See also: autoclesis, parasiopesis.
aporia
expression of doubt, usually feigned, about what the speaker should say, think, or do. "Oh no! Whatever shall I do now?"
aposiopesis
a halting or trailing off of speech caused by the speaker seemingly overcome by an emotion such as excitement, fear, or modesty; a form of brachylogy. "When your father finds out...." See also: brachylogy.
apostrophe
addressing an alternate audience midstream, whether that audience be a person, group, or abstraction, present or absent.
apposition
the juxtaposition of two nouns, the second of which clarifies the first. "The man, a leather-clad hoodlum, bolted from the scene when the police showed up."
aptronym
a name aptly suited to its owner, often because the name applies in more than one sense. "Mr. Calamity had a unique penchant for causing destruction wherever he went." See also: adnominatio.
archaism
usage of an older, often obsolete form of language
argot
the jargon of a group or class; slang.
assonance
repetition of the same sound in multiple words placed close to each other, often adjacent. See also: alliteration, consonance, parechesis.
asyndeton
lack of conjuctions between coordinate words, phrases, or clauses; a form of brachylogy. "But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground." -- Abraham Lincoln. See also: brachylogy, polysyndeton.
autoclesis
introducing an idea or subject by seeming to refuse discussion of it, thereby arousing interest. See also: apophasis, parasiopesis.
autogram
a phrase, sentence, or paragraph that self-documents its letter content.
billingsgate
coarsely abusive language.
bloviate
to speak or write pompously and windily.
brachylogy
abbreviated or condensed expression, often by omitting words that can be determined by the surrounding context. See also: aposiopesis, asyndeton, zeugma.
cacemphaton
an expression that is deliberately foul or ill-sounding.
cacography
poor handwriting; also, incorrect spelling.
cacology
poor choice of words; also, incorrect pronunciation.
cacophemism
See: dysphemism.
cacophony
juxtaposition of harsh sounds.
calque
an expression introduced into one language by translating it from another language. Same as "loan translation." "Superman," from the German word "Ubermensch." See also: loan translation, loanword, Wanderwort.
catachresis
harsh metaphor involving the use of a word beyond its normal function, usually incorrectly. See also: metaphor.
cataphora
use of a pronoun or other linguistic unit to refer to a word used later. "Him," in, "I nudged him, but George did not wake."
chiasmus
corresponding pairs not matched in parallel but inverted or crossed (a-b-b-a, rather than a-b-a-b). The word derives from the Greek letter chi (X). "Those gallant men will remain often in my thoughts and in my prayers always." -- Douglas MacArthur.
chrestomathy
a collection of choice literary passages, especially to help in learning a language.
chronogram
an inscribed phrase in which certain letters can be read as Roman numerals. "ChrIstVs DVX; ergo trIVMphVs," which is the motto of a medal struck by Gustavus Adolphus; the capital letters, when added as numerals, indicate the year 1632.
circumlocution
the use of indirect language or roundabout expressions; evasion in speech or writing. See also: cledonism, periphrasis.
cledonism
use of circumlocution to avoid speaking words deemed unlucky. See also: circumlocution.
climax
arrangement of words, phrases, or clauses in increasing order of power
commoratio
dwelling on or returning to one's strongest argument.
consonance
the repetition of consonants or consonant patterns, especially at the ends of words. Same as "consonant rhyme." See also: alliteration, assonance, parechesis.
consonant rhyme
See: consonance.
constative
characteristic of an assertion that can be definitively judged true or false.
contronym
a word which is its own opposite. "Cleave," meaning "adhere" and "separate." See also: antonym.
coprolalia
uncontrolled, excessive use of obscene or scatological language, sometimes accompanying certain mental disorders.
copula
a copulative word. See also: copulative.
copulative
syntactically connecting coordinate words or clauses; also, a copulative word or group of words. "And," which is a copulative conjunction, and "be," which is a linking verb. See also: copula.
crasis
a contraction of two vowels, usually the final and initial vowels of consecutive words, into one long vowel or diphthong.
creole
a language that originates from two other languages and has features of both. See also: acrolect.
cruciverbalist
a constructor of crossword puzzles; also, an enthusiast of word games, especially crossword puzzles.
cryptophasia
a language consisting of words or phrases understandable only between two twins and which is usually developed as the twins grow up together.
deictic
characteristic of a word whose reference depends on the circumstances of its use; also, a deictic word. "This," which means nothing outside of context.
diaeresis
the pronunciation of adjacent vowels separately. "Naive."
dilogy
an ambiguous speech.
diphthong
a speech sound in which one vowel gradually changes to another vowel within the same syllable. "Oi" in "boil," and "ou" in "out." See also: syneresis.
disjunctive
serving to establish a relationship of contrast or opposition; also, a disjunctive conjunctive. "But," in "The youth was spirited but naive."
dissimilation
the process by which one of two similar sounds in a word becomes less like the other. "Marble," an English word derived from the French word "marbre" by the process of dissimilation. See also: anaptyxis, epenthesis, haplology, metathesis, paragoge.
dittograph
a letter or word repeated unintentionally in writing or copying.
dittology
two distinct interpretations of the same text.
dontopedalogy
the aptitude for putting one's foot in one's mouth.
dysgraphia
impairment of the ability to write, usually caused by brain dysfunction or disease. See also: alexia, aphasia, dyslalia.
dyslalia
impairment of the ability to speak due to defective speech organs. See also: dysgraphia.
dyslexia
a learning disorder distinguished by impaired ability to recognize and comprehend written words.
dysphemism
substitution of a mild expression with a harsher one; opposite of "euphemism"; cacophemism. See also: euphemism.
dysprosody
a speech impairment characterized by a loss of control of intonation and rhythm.
dysrhythmia
an abnormality in an otherwise normal rhythmic pattern, as the meter in a line of verse.
dystmesis
inserting a word in the middle of another in an unlikely or unexpected place; a form of tmesis. "Unbe-freaking-lievable." See also: tmesis.
echolalia
the immediate and involuntary repetition of words or phrases just spoken by others, often a symptom of autism or some types of schizophrenia.
elision
the omission of a letter or syllable. "Don't" instead of "do not."
ellipsis
the omission of words in a sentence needed to complete an idea explicitly. "I took my son to the barber and my daughter to the hairdresser."
embolalia
See: embololalia.
embololalia
interpolation of meaningless sounds or words into speech. Same as "embolalia."
enallage
substitution of one part of speech, gender, number case, person, tense, mode, or voice for another. The royal "we," as a substitute for "I." See also: nosism.
enclitic
a word or syllable which is joined with the preceding word in such a way as to lose its own independent accent. "Prithee," which is a shortening of "pray thee," and "'em," in, "Get 'em!". See also: proclitic, synaloepha.
endophoric
characteristic of a reference to something outside the speech or text in which the reference occurs. See also: exophoric.
epanalepsis
a figure of speech in which the same word, phrase, or clause is repeated after intervening words.
epanorthosis
immediate rephrasing for emphasis, intensification, or justification. "You, young lad, are most brave! Brave, did I say? No, heroic!"
epenthesis
the process by which a new word is formed by inserting a sound into another word. "Thunder," an English word derived from the Old English word "thunor" by process of epenthesis. See also: anaptyxis, dissimilation, haplology, metathesis, paragoge.
epexegesis
when one interprets what one has just said, often signaled by "that is to say...."
epistrophe
repetition of the same word or phrase at the end of successive phrases, clauses, or sentences. "In 1931, ten years ago, Japan invaded Manchukuo -- without warning. In 1935, Italy invaded Ethiopia -- without warning. In 1938, Hitler occupied Austria -- without warning. In 1939, Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia -- without warning. Later in 1939, Hitler invaded Poland -- without warning. And now Japan has attacked Malaya and Thailand -- and the United States -- without warning." Franklin D. Roosevelt. See also: anadiplosis, anaphora, symploce.
epithet
a descriptive word or phrase. "The Great Emancipator," as a substitute for Abraham Lincoln. Also, an abusive or contemptuous word or phrase; a slur.
epitrope
a figure of speech in which permission is granted to do what someone proposes to do or is already doing.
epizeuxis
repetition of a word with vehemence or emphasis. "Alone, alone, all all alone. Alone on a wide wide sea." -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge. See: palilogy, ploce.
eponymy
the introduction of words into a language that are derived from the names of people or places.
equivoke
See: equivoque.
equivoque
an equivocal word, phrase, or expression; also, a pun or double meaning; also, ambiguity. Same as "equivoke."
etymon
an earlier form of a word in the same language or an ancestor language. See also: Wanderwort.
euphemism
substitution of a harsh, offensive, or unpleasant word with one that is less so. "When the final news came, there would be a ring at the front door -- a wife in this situation finds herself staring at the front door as if she no longer owns it or controls it -- and outside the door would be a man...come to inform her that unfortunately something has happened out there, and her husband's body now lies incinerated in the swamps or the pines or the palmetto grass, 'burned beyond recognition,' which anyone who had been around an air base very long (fortunately Jane had not) realized was quite an artful euphemism to describe a human body that now looked like an enormous fowl that has burned up in a stove, burned a blackish brown all over, greasy and blistered, fried, in a word, with not only the entire face and all the hair and the ears burned off, not to mention all the clothing, but also the hands and feet, with what remains of the arms and legs bent at the knees and elbows and burned into absolutely rigid angles, burned a greasy blackish brown like the bursting body itself, so that this husband, father, officer, gentleman, this ornamentum of some mother's eye, His Majesty the Baby of just twenty-odd years back, has been reduced to a charred hulk with wings and shanks sticking out of it." -- Tom Wolfe. See also: dysphemism, eusystolism.
eusystolism
use of initials, instead of full words, as a euphemism, often to avoid speaking harsh words. See also: euphemism.
exergasia
repeating a point by using different figures of speech to give the impression of saying something new.
exonym
a name by which one people or social group refers to another but which is not used by said group to refer to themselves.
exophoric
characteristic of a reference to something outside the speech or text in which the reference occurs. See also: endophoric.
extraposition
placement of a subject at a later position in the sentence than where it would normally be. "To sit down," in, "It is nice to sit down," which would normally be phrased, "To sit down is nice."
factitive
pertaining to the case when the action indicated by a transitive verb is not merely received by an object but produces some change in the object. "The boy popped the balloon," is factitive, because "balloon" is a factitive object, that is, an object changed by the verb "popped." But "The boy held the balloon," is not factitive, because the object "balloon" is only the recipient of the action indicated by the verb "held" and is not changed by it.
fis phenomenon
the phenomenon where children reject well-meaning adult attempts to mispronounce a word in the same way as a child. Child: "Fis." / Adult: "Yes, it's a 'fis'." / Child: "No, 'fis'!" / Adult: "Oh, a fish." / Child: "Yes, a fis."
Fog Index
a scheme by which the readability of a particular text may be evaluated; it is computed by adding the average sentence length (expressed in number of words per sentence) to the percentage of words with more than two syllables.
frequentative
expressing repeated action; also, a frequentative verb.
glossogenetics
the theory that humans are genetically predisposed to learn languages.
glossolalia
fabricated, nonmeaningful speech, especially such speech associated with a trance state or some schizophrenic syndromes.
glottochronology
the determination of how long ago different languages evolved from a common source language.
glyph
a symbol, such as on a public sign, that imparts information without words, especially a figure or character incised or in relief.
gradation
See: ablaut.
grammar
the study of how linguistic units combine to form sentences; also, the system of rules implicit in a language.
graphospasm
writer's cramp.
guttural
a sound articulated with the throat with the back of the tongue, much retracted, and the soft palate.
hapax legomenon
a word that occurs only once in the recorded corpus of a given language. "Flother," a synonym for "snowflake," which, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is used in a manuscript from circa 1275 and not known to have been used elsewhere.
haplology
the process by which a word is formed by removing one of two identical or similar adjacent syllables in an earlier word. "Nutrix," the Latin word meaning "nurse," was formed from the earlier word "nutritrix." See also: anaptyxis, dissimilation, epenthesis, metathesis, paragoge.
hendiadys
the use of a conjunction rather than the subordination of one word to another. "I will try and arrive promptly this time," instead of "I will try to arrive promptly this time." Also "nice and warm" instead of "nicely warm."
heterogenium
evading an issue or question by changing the subject. "Has our logging company endangered the spotted owl? I'll tell you what we've endangered: the unemployment rate in Oregon."
heterography
a method of spelling in which the same letters represent different sounds in different words, as in ordinary English orthography. See also: homography, orthography.
heteronym
a word which has the same spelling but different meaning and pronunciation as another; a type of homograph. "Produce," meaning, "fruits and vegetables," and "produce," meaning, "to bring forth." See also: homogram, homograph, homonym, homophone.
heterophemy
the unconscious saying, in speech or in writing, of something that one does not intend to say, especially when what is said is the reverse of what was intended.
hobson-jobson
an Anglicized word or phrase corrupted from one or more words of an Asian language.
holalphabetic
a phrase, clause, sentence, or other sequence of letters which contains every letter of the alphabet at least once. See also: pangram.
holonym
a concept that has another concept as a part. A house is a holonym of a room. See also: meronym.
holophrasis
use of a holophrase, that is, a single word expressing a complex idea.
homogram
See: homograph.
homograph
a word which has the same spelling as another but different meaning, derivation, or pronunciation. Same as "homogram." See also: heteronym, homonym, homophone.
homography
a method of spelling in which every sound is represented by a single character, which indicates that sound and no other. See also: heterography, orthography.
homonym
a word that has the same spelling and pronunciation as another but different meanings or derivations; a word that is both a homograph and a homophone. See also: heteronym, homogram, homograph, homophone.
homophone
a word which has the same pronunciation as another but different meaning, derivation, or spelling. See also: heteronym, homogram, homograph, homonym.
honorific
a title or phrase conferring respect, especially when used in addressing a social superior. See also: autonomasia.
hypallage
interchange of two elements in a phrase or clause from the order in which they would normally appear. "A mind is a terrible thing to waste," instead of "To waste a mind is a terrible thing."
hyperbaton
deviation of normal or logical word order. See also: anastrophe, hysteron proteron, synchysis.
hyperbole
exaggeration for emphasis or rhetorical or dramatic effect. See also: meiosis.
hypercorrect
characteristic of an incorrect linguistic construction in which the error is produced from a mistaken effort to be correct. "Between you and I," which should be "between you and me." See also: hyponym.
hypernym
a word that is more generic than a given word. See also: hyponym.
hypocorism
use of pet names, diminutives, baby talk, or terms of endearment. "Comfy" instead of "comfortable."
hyponym
a word that is more specific than a given word. See also: hypernym.
hypophora
asking a question, often one it is anticipated readers or listeners will have, and subsequently answering it. See also: procatalepsis.
hypostatize
to ascribe material existence to, especially to a conceptual entity. See also: personification.
hypotaxis
the dependent or subordinate relationship of clauses with connectives.
hysteron proteron
reversal of the normal order of terms; a type of hyperbaton. "Gentlemen and ladies." (Also note the first line of the ultra-condensation of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner on RinkWorks' own Book-A-Minute feature.) See also: hyperbaton.
ideogram
See: logogram.
idiolect
the speech of an individual, considered as a linguistic pattern unique among other speakers of the same language or dialect.
illeism
the practice of referring to oneself in the third person. See also: illeist.
illeist
one who habitually practices illeism. See also: illeism.
ingressive
characteristic of a speech sound produced with an inhalation of breath.
irony
expression that comes across contrary to the intended meaning, often because the audience knows what the speaker does not.
isocolon
a sequence of parallel structures, having the same number of words and sometimes the same number of syllables. "What else can one do when he is alone in a jail cell, other than write long letters, think long thoughts, and pray long prayers?" -- Martin Luther King.
isogloss
a geographic boundary which delimits an area in which a given linguistic feature occurs.
kenning
replacement of a common noun by a colorful compound. "Information superhighway" instead of "Internet."
klang association
See: phonaesthesia.
koine
a regional dialect or language that becomes the standard language over a wider area, losing its most extreme local features in the process; also, a lingua franca: a common hybrid or other language used by speakers of different languages. See also: lingua franca.
langue
language viewed as a system including vocabulary, grammar, and pronunciation of a particular community.
ligature
a character that combines two or more letters, such as æ.
lingua franca
a common hybrid or other language used by speakers of different languages. See also: koine.
lipogram
writing composed of words lacking a certain specific letter or letters. See also: univocalic.
litotes
understatement by negating the opposite; a type of meiosis. "I was not disappointed with the news." See also: meiosis.
loan translation
See: calque.
loanword
a word adopted from another language and completely or partially naturalized. See also: calque, Wanderwort.
logocentrism
obsession with the word. See also: phonocentrism.
logogram
a written symbol that represents an entire word without expressing its pronunciation. Same as "ideogram" and "logograph." The numerals 0-9 are each logograms.
logograph
See: logogram.
logogriph
a word puzzle in which it is required to discover a chosen word from various combinations of its letters, or some of its letters, which form other words.
logomisia
disgust or hatred of particular words.
lucus a non lucendo
an etymological contradiction in which a modern word is derived from an older word of contradictory meaning. "Beldam," meaning, "ugly hag," comes from the French word "bellum," meaning, "beautiful thing."
macaronic
of or containing a mixture of Latin words and vernacular words jumbled together, as a macaronic verse.
macrology
long and tedious talk lacking in substance; superfluity of words.
malapropism
ludicrous misuse of a word by confusion with one that sounds similar.
meiosis
understatement for emphasis or rhetorical or dramatic effect. "When my wife left me because I'd been fired and crippled in an accident on my way home, I was a little saddened." See also: hyperbole, litotes.
melioration
linguistic process of a word gradually becoming more positive in meaning or connotation over time. Although both melioration and amelioration can be used to describe the general process of improvement of anything, melioration is more commonly used with respect to the meaning of words undergoing this change. See also: pejoration.
mendaciloquence
lying as an art; adroit prevarication.
merism
a grouping of words that means something other than the combined meanings of each of the words individually.
meronym
a concept that is part of another concept. A room is a meronym of a house. See also: holonym.
metalepsis
the continuation of a trope in one word through a succession of significations, or the union of multiple tropes of a different kind in one word; substituting metonymy of one figurative sense for another.
metallage
a word or phrase treated as an object within another expression. "A lady's 'verily' is as potent as a lord's." -- William Shakespeare.
metanalysis
an interpretation or analysis of an unfamiliar name, which may involve associations to unrelated, similarly spelled words rather than to ideas related to the true meaning of the word.
metaphor
implied comparison between two things by calling or implying that one is the other. See also: catachresis, simile.
metaplasm
a change (including substitutions, additions, omissions, and inversions) in the letters or syllables of a word. See also: antisthecon, synaloepha.
metathesis
the process by which a new word is formed by transposing the letters, sounds, or syllables in an older word. "Bird," an English word derived from the Old English word "brid" by the process of metathesis. See also: anaptyxis, dissimilation, epenthesis, haplology, paragoge.
metonymy
substitution of a word or phrase with another which it suggests. "The pen is mightier than the sword," in which both "pen" and "sword" are substituted for "written prose" and "military." See also: synecdoche.
mogigraphia
writing with difficulty. See also: mogilalia.
mogilalia
speaking with difficulty. See also: mogigraphia.
mondegreen
a series of words, often humorous, that result from mishearing a statement or song lyric.
monepic
comprising of one word, or of single word sentences.
monologophobia
a compulsive avoidance of repetition. "A monologophobe would edit the Bible so that you would read, 'Let there by light and there was solar illumination.'" -- Harold Evans.
morpheme
a meaningful linguistic unit consisting of a root word or a word element that cannot be divided into smaller meaningful parts. "Pick" and "s", in the word "picks," are morphemes. See also: phoneme.
morphology
the study of structure and form of words in language, including inflection, derivation, and formation of compounds. See also: accidence.
Mummerset
a rustic accent or dialect for use on stage.
mumpsimus
a language error, such as with spelling or pronunciation, that is committed repeatedly, especially after correction; also, a person who repeatedly commits such an error or insists on perpetuating it.
noa word
a word free of any taboo in the languages under consideration, usually signifying that it may be employed without reservation in the creation of an international commercial name.
nomic
customary, ordinary; describing the usual English spelling of a word, as distinct from phonetic spellings.
nosism
the practice of referring to oneself as "we"; a type of enallage. See also: enallage.
objective correlative
a situation or sequence of events or objects that evokes a particular emotion in a reader or an audience.
onomasiology
the branch of senmatics dealing with related words and their meanings. See also: semantics.
onomastic
of, relating to, or explaining one or more names.
onomatopoeia
a word that refers to a specific sound and whose pronunciation mimics the sound. "Bang! Zoom!" -- Jackie Gleason.
oratio obliqua
indirect speech See also: oratio recta.
oratio recta
direct speech See also: oratio obliqua.
orismology
the science of defining technical terms.
orthography
the study of correct spelling according to established usage. See also: heterography, homography.
oxymoron
the juxtaposition of incongruous or contradictory terms.
oxytone
relating to or being a word that has an acute accent on the last syllable, especially a Greek word; also, a word with this quality. See also: paroxytone.
palilogy
the repetition of a word or phrase in immediate succession, for emphasis. See also: epizeuxis, ploce.
palindrome
a word, phrase, clause, or sentence that reads the same regularly as it does when its letters are reversed; a type of palingram. "A man, a plan, a canal, Panama." See also: palingram.
palingram
a word, phrase, clause, or sentence that reads the same backwards after rearranging segments. "Workmate did teamwork," is a palingram, because the sentence can be rearranged into four four-letter segments, with one three-letter segment in the middle; by reversing the order of the segments and, when necessary, rearranging the letters within each segment, the sentence reads the same backwards. See also: palindrome.
palinode
a poem or ode in which something said in a previous poem or ode is retracted.
pangram
a sentence that uses all the letters of the alphabet; a holalphabetic sentence. See also: holalphabetic.
paradiastole
a figure of speech in which a vice is portrayed as a virtue. "He is confident," said of a proud man.
paradox
apparent contradiction or discrepancy with common sense.
paragoge
the process by which a new word is formed by adding a letter or syllable to the end of another word. Same as "proparalepsis." "Climature," derived from "climate." See also: anaptyxis, dissimilation, epenthesis, haplology, metathesis, parelcon.
paragram
a pun. See also: antisthecon, equivoque, paronomasia.
paralanguage
the set of nonphonemic properties of speech, such as speaking tempo and vocal pitch, that can be used to communicate attitudes or other shades of meaning. See also: paralinguistic.
paraleipsis
See: apophasis.
paralepsis
See: apophasis.
paralipsis
See: apophasis.
paralinguistic
relating to the study of paralanguage. See also: paralanguage.
paraph
a flourish made after or below a signature, originally to prevent forgery.
paraphasia
a disorder of verbal communication that includes the transposition of letters or spoken sounds, and, in some cases, the substitution of one word for another while both words remain among the words spoken at that particular time. See also: aphasia.
paraprosdokian
unexpected ending of a phrase or series.
parasiopesis
mentioning an idea or event only insofar as to indicate that it be left or assumed to be understood. See also: apophasis, autoclesis.
parasynthesis
derivation of words using hyphenated compounds.
parataxis
juxtaposition of clauses or phrases without the use of coordinating or subordinating conjunctions. "She didn't remember her own name; her entire past, in fact, was blotted from her memory."
parechesis
the repetition of the same sound in words in close or immediate succession. "Veni, vidi, vici." -- Julius Caesar. See also: alliteration, assonance, consonance.
parelcon
the addition of one or more syllables to the end of a pronoun, verb, or adverb. See also: paragoge.
parimion
See: paroemion.
parisology
the deliberate use of equivocal or ambiguous words.
paroemion
excessive alliteration. "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers." See also: alliteration.
parole
the act of speaking; a particular utterance or word.
paronomasia
wordplay involving the juxtaposition of similar sounding words; also, punning. See also: adnominatio, paragram, polyptoton.
paronym
a paronymous word. See also: paronymous.
paronymous
of or relating to a word having the same stem as another. Beautiful and beauteous are paranymous words, or paranyms. See also: paronymous.
paroxytone
relating to or being a word that has an acute accent on the next to last syllable; also, a word with this quality. See also: oxytone.
parrhesia
Freedom or boldness of speech.
pasigraphy
an artificial international language that uses characters (such as mathematical symbols) instead of words.
patavinity
the use of local or provincial words.
patronymic
of or relating to the name of one's father or a paternal ancestor; also, a name so derived.
pejoration
linguistic process of a word gradually becoming more negative in meaning or connotation over time. See also: melioration.
periphrasis
roundabout wording. "The person to whom I am married," instead of "my spouse." See also: circumlocution.
perpilocutionist
one who expounds on a subject of which he has little knowledge.
personification
attribution of personal characteristics to an impersonal entity. See also: hypostatize.
phatic
characteristic of speech employed for the purpose of sharing feelings or establishing a mood of sociability rather than to communicate information or ideas.
philophronesis
the pacification of an adversary with the use of promises or mild speech.
phonaestheme
a word with a phonetic likeness to other words of similar meaning. Crush, crash, clash, bash, mash, smash, and smoosh are phonaesthemes of each other. See also: phonaesthesia.
phonaesthesia
the phenomenon by which associations arise among groups of similar sounding words, which may have close, distant, or no etymological relations to each other. Same as "klang association." See also: phonaestheme.
phonocentrism
obsession with the voice. See also: logocentrism.
phoneme
the smallest phonetic unit in a language that is capable of conveying a distinction in meaning. "M", in "man," and "c", in "can," are phonemes. See also: morpheme.
pleonasm
the use of a superfluity of words, often deliberately, for emphasis. "I've never seen anything more obscene in all my 80 years on this Earth."
ploce
repetition of a word to emphasize or extend meaning. See also: epizeuxis, palilogy.
polyptoton
repetition of a word in different forms, cases, or with different inflection, in the sentence. See also: adnominatio, paronomasia.
polysemous
characterized by having many meanings. See also: polysemy.
polysemy
an instance of a word or sentence or other writing being polysemous. See also: polysemous.
polysyndeton
repetition of conjunctions in a series of words, phrases, or clauses. "So I got mad at him and picked up a pillow and popped in him in the head." See also: asyndeton.
preterition
See: apophasis.
privative
altering the meaning of a term from positive to negative; also, a privative prefix or suffix.
proclitic
a word or syllable which is joined with the following word in such a way as to lose its own independent accent. "Prithee," which is a shortening of "pray thee," and "Get," in, "Get 'em!" See also: enclitic, synaloepha.
prolepsis
speaking or acting upon something anticipated as if it were done or existing. "I'm a dead man, now!" Alternately, positioning a relative clause before its antecedent. "Consider the lilies of the field how they grow." See also: procatalepsis.
procatalepsis
anticipating and answering an opponent's objections in advance; an instance of prolepsis. See also: hypophora, prolepsis.
proparalepsis
See also: paragoge.
prosonomasia
See: paronomasia.
prosopopoeia
a figure of speech in which an absent or imaginary person is represented as speaking.
prosthesis
the prefixing of one or more letters to the beginning of a word. "Beloved."
protolanguage
a language that is the recorded or hypthetical anecestor of one or more other languages. Same as "Ursprache."
provection
the carrying forward of a final letter to the following word.
psittacism
parrot-like repetition in speech
purr word
a word with positive connotations and therefore desirable to use in building and sustaining good public relations. See also: snarl word.
rebus
a representation of words in the form of pictures or symbols, especially when presented as a puzzle.
reification
to regard or treat an abstraction as if it had concrete or material existence.
rheme
the part of a sentence that provides new information about the topic under discussion.
rhetoric
the art or study of using language effectively and persuasively; more generally, verbal communication.
rhopalic
characteristic of a line or verse in which each successive word has one more syllable than the previous.
rhyme
correspondence of terminal sounds of words or of lines of verse. "No more rhyming now, I mean it! / Anybody want a peanut?" -- The Princess Bride.
sandhi
modification of the sound of a morpheme in certain phonetic contexts. See also: morpheme.
scesis onomaton
a sentence constructed with a sequence of generally synonymous phrases or statements; also, a sentence constructed only of nouns and adjectives, typically in a regular or synonymous pattern.
semantics
the meaning of a word, phrase, clause, or sentence, as opposed to its syntactic construction. Same as "semiotics." See also: onomasiology.
semiotics
See: semantics.
sesquipedalian
of a word, having many syllables; of a person, tending to use long words.
shibboleth
a word or pronunciation that distinguishes people of one group or class from those of another.
sibilant
characterized by a hissing sound, especially a speech sound, such as those indicated by "s," "sh," "z," or "zh." See also: sigmatism.
sigmatism
inability to pronounce sibilant sounds correctly. See also: sibilant.
simile
an explicit comparison between two things using the word like or as. See also: metaphor.
snarl word
a word with negative connotations and therefore not desirable to use lest good public relations be undermined. See also: purr word.
solecism
a mistake in the use of language; also, an offense against good manners or etiquette.
sophism
a false argument, especially one intended to deceive.
spoonerism
the interchange of the initial letters of two words, usually as a slip of the tongue. "I think I'll go outside and get a freth of bresh air."
stichomythia
an ancient Greek arrangement of dialogue in which single lines of verse or other writing are spoken by alternate speakers.
subreption
phrasing words in such a way as to misrepresent by concealing facts.
superordinate
a word that is more generic than a given word.
suprasegmental
pertaining to a feature of speech that extends over more than a single speech sound.
syllepsis
use of a single word that applies to two or more others in different senses. "He was deep in thought and in debt." Also, "We must all hang together or assuredly we will all hang separately." -- Benjamin Franklin. See also: zeugma.
syllogism
deductive reasoning in which a conclusion is derived from two premises. "All human beings are mortal. I am a human being. Therefore, I am mortal."
symploce
simultaneous use of anaphora and epistrophe. "Justice came down from heaven to view the earth; Justice returned to heaven, and left the earth." See also: anadiplosis, anaphora, epistrophe.
synaeresis
See: syneresis.
synaesthesia
a brain disorder characterized by a cross-referencing of senses: for example, sounds might be "seen" and colors might be "heard."
synaloepha
omitting one of two vowels, one of which occurs at the end of one word and the other of which occurs at the beginning of the next word; a type of metaplasm. "Th'other," a shortening of "the other." See also: enclitic, metaplasm, proclitic.
synchysis
confused arrangement of words in a sentence, either by accident or on purpose; an extreme instance of hyperbaton or anastrophe. See also: anastrophe, hyperbaton.
syncope
shortening a word by omitting a middle segment.
synecdoche
referring to something by just a part of it. "New York won the World Series," instead of "The New York Yankees won the World Series." See also: metonymy.
syneresis
the drawing together of two consecutive vowels or syllables into a single syllable, as the formation of a diphthong. Same as "synaeresis." See also: diphthong.
synesis
agreement of words to logic rather than grammatical form. "The wages of sin is death." -- Romans 6:23. See also: anacoluthon.
synonym
a word which has the same meaning as another. "Elated," which is a synonym for "ecstatic." See also: antonym.
systole
the shortening of a long syllable.
tachygraphy
the art or practice of rapid writing or shorthand; stenography.
tautology
repetition of an idea in different words. "With malice toward none, with charity for all." -- Abraham Lincoln.
tautonym
a scientific name in which the genus and species names are the same. For example, gorilla gorilla.
theophoric
See: theophorous.
theophorous
having the name of a god; derived from the name of a deity.
tmesis
inserting a word in the middle of another. "Hoo-bloody-ray" and "un-freaking-believable." See also: dystmesis.
traduttori traditori
Italian saying meaning "Translators, Traitors," implying that expression in one language can never be equivalently expressed in another.
trope
the figurative use of a word or expression.
univocalic
writing that contains just one vowel. "Left rebel 'Red Ken' elected." See also: lipogram.
Ursprache
See: protolanguage.
velar
See: guttural.
verbicide
the destruction of the sense or value of a word.
vernacular
the language or dialect of a country; the everyday language of ordinary people.
Wanderwort
a word that is similar in several presumably unrelated or distantly related languages yet whose origins are unknown. "Wine." See also: calque, etymon, loanword.
Witzelsucht
a mental disorder characterized by the making of poor jokes and puns and the telling of pointless stories and usually caused by lesions on the frontal lobe.
wordfact
a label that, when applied often enough to a particular group, eventually becomes accepted as fact. "The perception that Generation Xers are 'slackers' is inaccurate; it is a mere wordfact."
xenoepist
one with a foreign accent.
zeugma
two words linked to another, which only applies to one of them; also, a syllepsis. See also: syllepsis.
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